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10  发表于: 2004-03-31   
12:DIRECTNESS & INDIRECTNESS
  

  直接和间接的交流风格

  

  PROVERB谚语

  Chinese Proverb

  Think three times before you take action.

  三思而后行。

  A word dropped from the tongue cannot be brought back by four horses.

  一言既出,驷马难追。

  American Proverb

  He who hesitates is lost.

  犹豫者不得志。

  The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

  会叫的车轮才能得到润滑。

   

INTERCUTURAL DIALOGUE跨文化对话

  Dialogue 1: Don’t make noise!(别制造噪音!)

  Scene 1

  Jane: (knocks on her neighbor’s open window):Excuse me, it’s 11 o’clock already, and your high-pitched opera singing is really disturbing my sleep. Please stop your gargling noises immediately! I have an important job interview tomorrow morning, and I want to get a good night’s sleep. I really need this job to pay my rent!

  Diane: (resentfully)Well, this is the only time I can rehearse my opera! I’ve an important audition coming up tomorrow. You’re not the only one that is starving, you know. I also need to pay my rent. Stop being so self-centered!

  Jane: (frustrated):I really think you’re unreasonable. If you don’t stop your singing right now I’m going to file a complaint with the apartment manager.

  Diane: (sarcastically) OK. Do whatever you want. I’m going to sing as I please.

  Scene 2

  Mrs. Zhang: Your daughter has started taking piano lessons, hasn’t she? I envy you, because you can be proud of her talent. You must be looking forward to her future as a pianist. I am really impressed by her talent - every day, she practices so hard, for hours and hours, until late at night.

  Mrs. Yang: Oh, no, not at all. She is just a beginner. We don’t know her future yet. We hadn’t realized that you could hear her playing. I am so sorry you have been disturbed by her noise.

  场景1

  Jane: (敲打邻居开着的窗户)请原谅,已经是11点了,你唱歌剧的声音太高,我睡不着。别在这里制造噪音了!我明天早上有个重要的面试,今天晚上得好好睡一觉。我真的需要这个工作赚钱来付房租!

  Diane: (气冲冲地)我只能在这个时间练习歌剧!明天我有一次重要的录音。并不是只有你一个人要工作。我也得付房租。别那么以自我为中心!

  Jane: (受挫)你这人真是不讲理。如果你现在不立即停唱,我就去公寓经理那儿告你一状。

  Diane: (嘲讽地)随便。我爱唱就唱。

  场景2

  张夫人:你的女儿开始上钢琴课了,对吗?我真羡慕你,你能以她的天分自豪了。你一定盼望她将来成为一个钢琴家。我真佩服她的天分--每天都努力练琴,一小时接一小时,一直练到深夜。

  杨夫人:喔,不,她只不过刚刚开始练。我们也不清楚她将来能做什么。我们不知道您能听到她练琴的声音。很抱歉打扰你了。

  Dilogue 2

  When Chinese and Americans communicate there often are misunderstandings due to their differences in style of speech. A conversation between a Chinese husband (following indirect communicating rules) and an American wife (following direct communicating rules) illustrates these differences:

  Wife: Bob’sshavingsa party. Want to go?

  Husband: OK.

  Wife: (later) Are you sure you Want to go?

  Husband: OK, let’s not go. I’m tired anyway.

  In this conversation the husband interpreted the wife’s questions as an indirect indication that she did not want to go.

  由于交流风格的这种差异,中国人和美国人之间经常产生误解。下面是一位中国丈夫(遵循间接式交流规则)和他的美国妻子(遵循直接式交流规则)之间的对话:

  妻子:Bob家要举行一个聚会,你想去吗?

  丈夫:去。

  妻子:(后来)你真的想去吗?

  丈夫:那就不去吧,反正我也累了。

  在这个对话中,丈夫误解了妻子的问话,他以为那表示她不想去参加聚会的暗示。

   

CONCLUSION结论

  Chinese prefer the indirect way of communicating style while Americans prefer the direct way of communicating style.

  中国人喜欢间接的交流方式;美国人喜欢直接的交流方式。

   

FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

  Indirect messages allow you to express your desire with-out offending or insulting the one interacting with you, but often at the sacrifice of your own feeling. Instead of saying,“I am bored with the conversation,”you say,“It’s getting late and I have to get up early tomorrow,”or you look at your watch and pretend to be surprised by the time. Instead of saying,“This food tastes horrible,”you say,“This food tastes different.”Instead of saying,“You look terrible in this dress,”you are likely to say,“I like the dress you wore yesterday.”

  In comparison with indirect messages, direct messages allow you to express your desire with less consideration about the feeling of the people interacting with you. Instead of saying“I am so bored; I have nothing to do tonight,”to your boyfriend, you say forthrightly,“I’d like to go to the movies. Would you like to come?”Instead of saying“Do you feel like hamburgers tonight?”to your husband, you say,“I’d like hamburgers tonight. How about you?”

  在和别人进行交流的时候,间接信息能够让你避免伤害别人的感情,但这种交流常常是以隐瞒自己的真实感受为基础的。在对聊天比较厌烦的时候,你会说:“天不早了,我明天还要早起,”或者故作惊讶地看表,而不会说:“我讨厌和你聊天。”在觉得饭做得难以下咽的时候,你不会说:“这饭简直没法吃,”而会说:“这饭尝起来味道很不一样。”你不会说:“你穿这身衣服真难看,”而会说:“我觉得你昨天穿的那身衣服比这身更好看。”

  和间接信息相比,直接信息可以让你比较自由地表达你的观点,较少地顾忌别人的感受。你可以直截了当地对你男朋友说:“我想去看电影,你能跟我一块去吗?”而不是说:“我今天晚上很无聊,没事可干。”你会对你丈夫说:“我今天晚上想吃汉堡,你呢?”而不是说:“今天晚上你想吃点什么?”

   

SELF-TEST自测题

  Assessing Directness & Indirectness In Communication

  Below are 32 statements regarding how you feel about communicating in different ways. In the blank to the left of each item, indicated the degree to which you agree or disagree with each statement. If you are unsure or think that an item does not apply to you, enter a 5 in the blank.

  Use the following key:

  Strongly Disagree 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Strongly Agree

  1. ___ I catch on to what others mean, even when they do not say it directly.

  2. ___ I show respect to superiors, even if I dislike them.

  3. ___ I use my feelings to determine whether to trust another person.

  4. ___ I find silence awkward in conversation.

  5. ___ I communicate in an indirect fashion.

  6. ___ I use many colorful words when I talk.

  7. ___ in argument, I insist on very precise definitions.

  8. ___ I avoid clearcut expressions of feelings when I communicate with others.

  9. ___ I am good at figuring out what others think of me.

  10. ___ My verbal and nonverbal speech tends to be very dramatic.

  11. ___ I listen attentively, even when others are talking in an uninteresting manner.

  12. ___ I maintain harmony in my communication with others.

  13. ___ Feelings are a valuable source of information.

  14. ___ When pressed for an opinion, I respond with an ambiguous statement /position.

  15. ___ I try to adjust myself to the feelings of the person with whom I am communicating.

  16. ___ I actively use a lot of facial expression when I talk.

  17. ___ My feelings tell me how to act in a given situation.

  18. ___ I am able to distinguish between a sincere invitation and one intended as a gesture of politeness.

  19. ___ I believe that exaggerated stories make conversation fun.

  20. ___ I orient to people through my emotions.

  21. ___ I find myself initiating conversations with strangers while waiting in line.

  22. ___ As a rule, I openly express my feelings and emotions.

  23. ___ I feel uncomfortable and awkward in social situations in which everybody else is talking except me.

  24. ___ I readily reveal personal things about myself.

  25. ___ I like to be accurate when I communicate.

  26. ___ I can read another person“like a book”.

  27. ___ I use silence to avoid upsetting others when I communicate.

  28. ___ I openly show my disagreement with others.

  29. ___ I am a very precise communicator.

  30. ___ I can sit with another person, not say anything, and still be comfortable.

  31. ___ I think that untalkative people are boring.

  32. ___ I am an extremely open communicator.

  Scoring: Reverse the score for items 4, 6, 7, 10, 16, 19, 21, 22, 23,24, 25, 28, 29, 31, 32. If your original score was 1, reverse it to a 7; if your original score was a 2, reverse it to a 6; etc. After reversing the score for those 14 items, simply sum the 32 items. Lower scores indicate lowcontext communication. Higher scores indicate highcontext communication.

  Source: Adapted from W. B. Gudykunst, Y. Matsumoto, S. Ting Toomey, et al.“Human Communication Research, 22(1996), 510-543.
        风来疏竹,风过而竹不留声;
                   雁渡寒潭,雁去而潭不留影。
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11  发表于: 2004-04-01   
13:HUMILITY

 谦逊

 

 PROVERB谚语

  Chinese Proverb

  The more noble, the more humble.

  越高贵,越应谦逊。

  Pride goes before destruction.

  骄者必败。

  American Proverb

  Too much humility is pride.

  过分的谦虚就是骄傲。

  Honesty is the best policy.

  诚实为上策。

 

 INTERCULTURAL DIALOGUE跨文化对话

  Dialogue 1Well Done(干得好)

  Bob: You did a fabulous job on that report.

  Chang: We did our best. I wish we’d had more time.

  Bob: For what? It really couldn’t have been better.

  Chang: I wouldn’t like to think so.

  Bob: You mean you left something out?

  Chang: What do you mean by saying that?

  Bob:你的那个报告完成得非常好。

  Chang:我们尽了全力,要是再给我们一些时间就好了。

  Bob:为什么?我觉得那个报告已经很完美了。

  Chang:我不这么想。

  Bob:你是说你漏掉了什么内容吗?

  Chang:您这样说是什么意思?

  Dialogue 2

  In his book“The Importance of Being KeQi,”Yao Wei offers an example of Chinese humility. A Chinese carpenter who has emigrated to the United States goes to a furniture company looking for a job. He is a highly skilled maker of tables with twenty-five years of experience. Yao portrays the interview dialogue as follows.

  Employer: Have you done carpentry work before?

  Carpenter: I don’t dare say that I have. I have just been in a very modest way involved in the carpenter trade.

  Employer: What are you skilled in then?

  Carpenter: I won’t say“skilled.”I have only a little experience in making tables.

  Employer: Can you make something now and show us how good you are?

  Carpenter: How dare I be so indiscreet as to demonstrate my crude skills in front of a master of the trade like you.

  An American employer at this point might very well show the humble Chinese applicant to the door. But, were he to persist in requesting a sample, the Chinese carpenter would finally (and with continuing expressions of humility as he worked) fashion a veritable work of art, which no doubt, he would describe as the work of a beginner even as the employer admired his speed and skill.

  姚侠在他的《客气的重要性》一书中写过一个关于中国人谦虚的例子。一个刚刚移民到美国的中国人到一家家具公司找工作。他很会做桌子,并有25年的经验。下面是他面试时和雇主的一段对话:

  雇主:你以前做过木匠活吗?

  木匠:我不敢说做过,只不过对此略知一二。

  雇主:那你干什么活最熟练?

  木匠:不能说“熟练”,只不过在做桌子方面略会皮毛。

  雇主:现在你能做件东西给我们看看吗?

  木匠:我怎敢在大师面前献丑。

  一般到这种地步的时候,美国雇主会送这个谦虚的中国人出门了。但是这个雇主坚持要面试者做一件样品,木匠只好同意,一件精雕细琢的木制品很快在他手中完成,这位雇主在旁边叹服的时候,中国的木匠还在不停地说这只是一件初学者的作品呢。

 

 CONCLUSION结论

  In comparison with the Americans, the humble comunication style is favorable for the Chinese.

  和美国人相比,中国人更喜欢谦逊的交流风格。

 

 FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

  Humility applies not only to conversational practices but also to other types of social situations. An amusing example occurs when a large number of Chinese prepare themselves for asgroupsphotograph. All understand that the front row, especially the center-front location, is the place of honor and recognize that proper humility requires that they not willingly place themselves in the front. Even the senior people usually try to remain away from the front row, with the result that everyone begins to crowd /into/ the back rows. After some good-natured scuffling and earnest appeals from the junior members and the photographer to the senior ones, the situation resolves itself properly.

  中国人的谦虚不仅体现在谈话上,在各种社交场合都会发现谦虚的影子。中国人照群体像时的表现很有趣。所有人都知道前排和中央是最荣耀的地方,每个人都不愿坐在那里以表示自己的谦虚。甚至那些级别高的人也常常不愿立即就位,这样做的结果是所有人都往后排挤。在摄影师和级别低的人的极力要求下,那些级别高的人才慢慢移到前面就坐。

 

 SELF-TEST自测题

  How Humble Are You?

  1. You help another person save a child from a burning building and then leave the scene. The next day, the press is calling YOU the“hero”. Would you set the record straight?

  2. If you made it big, would you go to your high school reunion just to show off?

  3. You suspect that your significant other has cheated on you and in retaliation you have a short fling. Months later you find out your suspisions about your partner are wrong. Do you apologize and admit your own indiscretion?

  4. Do you think your obituary should be a full article with a picture?

  5. You overhear your significant other say you are the best lover they’ve ever had. Do you think: They’re rightI am.

  6. When you daydream about your tombstone, it reads: Loved by all.

  7. Are you a dynamo in the sack?

  8. Do you have framed pictures of yourself alone, with no one else in the photodisplayed in your house? Don’t lie!

  9. Would you hire someone smarter than you?

  10. Do you ask what your country can do for you rather than what you can do for your country?

  For the above items, the more you answer yes, the less humble you are.
        风来疏竹,风过而竹不留声;
                   雁渡寒潭,雁去而潭不留影。
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12  发表于: 2004-04-02   
14:RELATIONSHIP

 关系

 

 PROVERB谚语

  You honor me a foot, and I will in return honor you ten feet.

  你敬我一尺,我敬你一丈。

  Live and let live.

  自己活也让别人活。

  The American way of business is,“Hey, its costing us 5,000 to send you on this trip; youd better get the business.”The Chinese idea is,“We want to build a relationship and learn all about you and your facilities.”

  Joseph Dorto

  美国人做生意的方式是:“嗨,送你出这趟差要花5000美元,你最好把这个交易搞定。”中国人在这方面的观点是:“我们想和你们建立关系,学习你们的设备和先进之处。”

  岛头

 

 INTERCULTURAL DIALOGUE跨文化对话

  Dialogue 1

  In the following conversation, Mr. Benton has traveled to China to introduce Mr. Yeh-Ching to a new operating system. Mr. Benton, coming from a culture that values an efficient style of speaking, wants to get right down to business. Mr. Yeh-Ching, on the other hand, wants to establish a relationship before discussing any business possibilities. Mr. Benton and Mr. Yeh-Ching are meeting at a local restaurant in Beijing.

  在下面这个对话中,Mr. Benton到中国向Mr. Yeh-Ching介绍一项新型操作系统。Mr. Benton来自美国这个重视办事效率的国家,他想立即做交易。Mr. Yeh-Ching是中国人,中国商业文化重视首先建立关系,然后再开展交易。Mr. Benton和Mr. Yeh-Ching在北京当地的一家饭店会面。Mr. Benton: Ah, Mr. Yeh-Ching. I’ve been waiting a while. Had you forgotten about our meeting?

  Mr. Yeh-Ching: Good morning Jerry, it is so nice to see you.

  Mr. Benton: Well ... I’m glad you’re finally here. I have all the material you need to see about the new computers we’re installing. Here’s our plan ...

  Mr. Yeh-Ching: Jerry, have you seen much of our city?

  Mr. Benton: Well ... I really don’t have much time for sightseeing. This isn’t vacation, you know. Business, business, business. My boss expects me to close this deal today and be back in New York by the Weekend. So, here’s my idea for installation.

  Mr. Yeh-Ching: Our city is so beautiful and full of history. Pleases allow me to arrange a tour for you. We can go together.

  Mr. Benton: I’d love to, but you know ... business.

  Mr. Yeh-Ching: Can I arrange a tour for you? My staff would be happy to meet you.

  Mr. Benton: No, thanks, but Id like to show you something. Look at these new configurations for the computers we’re installing. Now ... notice that ...

  Mr. Yeh-Ching: Here is a menu. This restaurant has some very interesting Chinese dishes that I would like you to try.

  Mr. Benton: Oh, I grabbed a bite at the Hilton. Go ahead and eat, though. I can show you the production schedule.

  Chances are pretty good that Mr. Yeh-Ching will not buy Mr. Bentons new computer system. To Mr. Yeh-Ching, Mr. Benton is too concerned about his business and not concerned enough about the personal side of business-that is, relationships. Chinese are sometimes suspicious of people who refuse to get to know each other before striking a deal.

  Mr. Benton: Mr. Yeh-Ching,我等你好一会儿了。你忘记今天的会面了吗?

  Mr. Yeh-Ching:上午好,Jerry,很高兴见到你。

  Mr. Benton:呃…你最终还是来了,我也很高兴。关于我们要配置的电脑,我已经准备好了所有的材料,这是我们的计划…

  Mr. Yeh-Ching:我们的城市你参观过了吗?

  Mr. Benton:呃…我实在没有观光的时间,我不是来度假的,我得做生意上的事。我的老板让我今天就谈妥这项生意,周末之前回纽约。你看,这是我的安装计划。

  Mr Yeh-Ching:我们的城市景色迷人,历史悠久。请允许我为你安排一次观光,我可以陪你。

  Mr. Benton:我倒也挺想去,可是你明白…生意。

  Mr. Yeh-Ching:我能为你安排一次游览吗?我的职工很想见到你。

  Mr. Benton:谢谢你,不用了。我想给你看点东西。你看这些电脑的配置图表。看…

  Mr. Yeh-Ching:这是菜单,这个饭店里有很多中国特色菜,希望你能品尝。

  Mr. Benton:噢,我在希尔顿饭店随便吃了几口。现在咱们继续。我给你看看生产计划。

  Mr. Yeh-Ching很有可能拒绝购买Mr. Benton的新型电脑系统,Mr. Yeh-Ching可能认为Mr. Benton太热衷于做生意了,却不关心生意的人性化的一面--关系。在建立关系之前,中国人很少会与别人做交易,他们会怀疑别人的诚意。Dialogue 2

  Ms. Wasko: (enthusiastically)Since we’re all here today in the meeting, I would like to discuss with you my opinion on renewing our contract with the Mingxin advertising firm. But before I do that, Mr.Chang, what do you think of the Mingxin firm?

  Mr. Chang: (taken by surprise) Ms. Wasko, what about the Mingxin firm?

  Ms. Wasko: Chang, I dont think they are working out for us. I don’t think they are being aggressive enough in pushing our spring water products. I seriously think we should switch to a new firm. Their advertisement did not seem to have any impact on generating new sales for us.

  Mr. Chang: (after a long paused) Ms. Wasko, have you discussed this with others in our department?

  Ms. Wasko: (looking around)Not really. That’s why I’m sounding you out right now.

  Mr. Chang: Well ... it is a good idea to get as many peoples opinions as possible on this important decision. Why don’t we wait?

  Ms. Wasko: (impatiently)But Im really not satisfied with the Mingxins“soft sell”approach to our products. If you have any opinion, now is a good time to speak up. So what do you think?

  Mr. Chang: Um ... we really have to give this some more thought ... After all, we’ve cultivated a good relationship with the people in the Mingxin firm ... Maybe I’ll check around with other people in the department after the meeting to get their input.

  Ms. Wasko: Well, all your department people are here in this room. Why don’t ask them right now? Wang, what do you think?

  Mr. Wang: (taken by surprise)Well ... (a long pause) ... we should spend more time thinking together ...

  Ms. Wasko: (very frustrated) All right, everyone, wasted time is wasted effort. Chang, back to you. What do you really think?

  Mr. Chang: (glancing around the room and sensing tension) Well ... (a very long pause) ... I couldnt really say right now ... It takes time to make such an important decision.

  Ms. Wasko: (热情地)今天既然大家都来参会了,我想谈谈在和Mingxin广告公司续签合同一事上我的观点,我想先问个问题,Chang,你觉得Mingxin广告公司怎么样?

  Mr. Chang: (吃了一惊)Ms. Wasko,你问我觉得Mingxin广告公司怎么样?

  Ms. Wasko: Chang,我觉得她们不为咱们好好干活,我觉得他们在宣传我们的产品方面做得不够。我想选择一家新公司,Mingxin公司做的广告没有帮助我们扩大销售。

  Mr. Chang: (停顿了很长时间)Ms. Wasko,你和我们部门里的其他人谈过这件事吗?

  Ms. Wasko: (四周看了看)还没有,我现在想问问你的意见。

  Mr. Chang:呃…这是个非常重要的决定,最好尽可能地征求每个人的意见,咱们可以迟一些再讨论。

  Ms. Wasko: (不耐烦地)可我实在为Mingxin公司对我们产品的“软销售”策略感到不满,如果你有什么意见,那现在就说出来,你觉得呢?

  Mr. Chang:呃…我真的需要好好想一想……毕竟,我们已经和Mingxin公司的人建立了很好的关系,我想在这次会议之后和部门里的其他人商量一下,听听他们的意见。

  Ms. Wasko:你部门里的人全部都在这里,为什么现在不立即问他们的意见?Wang,你有什么意见?

  Mr. Wang: (吃了一惊)噢…(停顿了很长时间)我们需要一些时间考虑一下。

  Ms.Wasko: (感到很沮丧)好吧,别浪费时间了,Chang,又该你了,到底你是怎么想的?

  Mr. Chang: (四周看了一下,感到气氛很紧张)噢…(停顿了很长时间)我现在没法说,这么重要的决定是需要花时间来考虑的。

  Dialogue 3

  Todd: There’s vacancy in middle management, you know.

  Sun: I heard. I wonder who they’ll select.

  Todd: Why don’t you apply? I’ve heard you’re management’s favorite

  plant foreman.

  Sun: I suppose I am, keeping the peace here on the floor.

  Todd: So, you’re tempted?

  Sun: Me? Are you kidding? I don’t know any of those people.

  Todd: But you’re worked here for years.

  Todd:中级管理层有个职位空缺。

  Sun:我听说了。不知道他们会选谁。

  Todd:你为什么不申请?我听说你是管理层最喜欢的车间管理员。

  Sun:你可能说得对,我负责维护车间的秩序。

  Todd:那你申请了?

  Sun:我?开什么玩笑?我上面没有人照应。

  Todd:可是你在这里工作了很多年了。

 

 CONCLUSION结论

  One’s associations with others are critical to the Chinese, so key relationships receive intense attention and commitment. Due to that, the difference between relationships with in-group members and merely casual relationships is magnified. It may seem to Americans that the Chinese are indifferent to strangers and casual acquaintances, ignoring their welfare. But the Chinese are simply focusing almost all of their energy on close relatives or intimate friends or those with whom they have established relationship in comparison with Americans, who put at least some effort /into/ treating everyone, or almost everyone, more or less equally. In sociological terms, particularism is characteristic of the Chinese while universalism is characteristic of Americans.

  对于中国人来说,一个人和别人的关系非常重要。因此,重要的人际关系备受关注。同一集体内部成员和其他普通人之间的区别很大。美国人会觉得中国人对待陌生人的态度过于冷漠。中国人几乎把所有精力都集中到亲戚朋友以及与他们有关系的人身上。美国人至少能够在某种程度上平等对待所有人。用社会学的词汇来说,中国人的这种特点叫做特殊主义,美国人的这一特点叫做普世主义。


  FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

  Arlene, a Chinese woman, has living in the United States for 13 years and has been married to an American for 10 years. For the past 10 years, Arlene has been trying to find a fit between her husband’s American culture and her Chinese culture. She has been successful in achieving balance in many areas of her life, but she is constantly caught in one area-differences between two cultures in approaching interpersonal relationships.

  Arlene has been indebted to her sisters over the years, because when their parents passed away it was her elder sisters who assumed the responsibility of taking care of her and the family. When Arlene’s niece, Meiling, decided to pursue a higher education in the United States a few years ago,Arlene was very pleased that, finally, she was given an opportunity to repay her sister. She offered Meiling free accommodation while in school. As a result, her own nuclear family was extended. Arlene’s other sister decided to buy a new house and needed to borrow some money for the down payment. Arlene gave her sister money and told her not to worry about returning it.“We are all family. If she needs help, I should help her,”was what she said.

  Reflecting upon the past and the present during our conversations. Arlene feels that she has done nothing for her husband’s family and she is very unsettled about that. Accounts such as this are typical and commonly given by some Chinese living abroad.

  Arlene是个中国女人,在美国已经住了13年了,嫁给一个美国人已经10年了。在过去的10年中,Arlene在美国文化和中国文化的冲突中寻找平衡,在生活的许多领域中,她都找到了这种平衡,但是在人际关系方面,Arelene却屡屡感到困惑。

  这些年以来,Arlene思前想后,一直觉得对不起她的几个姐姐,因为她们的父母去世早,她是在几个姐姐的照顾下长大的。几年前,当Arlene大姐的女儿到美国求学的时候,Arlene觉得回报大姐的时候到了,她为她的侄女提供免费食宿。她自己的小家庭也多了一员。Arlene的二姐买房子需要钱,Arlene就借给了她一笔钱,并告诉她还不还钱无所谓。“咱们是一家人嘛,需要帮助时应该互相帮助。”她说。

  Arelene觉得她什么事情也没为丈夫的家庭做,一直觉得她应该做点什么,为此她感到非常不安。对于在国外定居的中国人来说,这种现象很普遍。

  Why many Chinese feel in this way? This is based on the receprocal feeling that once a favor is offered, a repayment should be made in the future time. If the person who has accepted the offer did not make the repayment, others would regard him or her as“a person without conscience.”The idea of relationship is central to this typical Chinese behavior with the feeling of reciprocity at the core of the idea of relationship. There is much evidence to say that this is selfish to some extent. The Americans, however, do not expect to be repayed after their helping others.

  为什么许多中国人这么想呢?这主要是因为几乎每个中国人的心中都有一种要求回报的思想。如果一个人帮了另一个人的忙,那么被帮助的人就有回报的义务,否则的话,他会被别人认作是一个“没良心的人”。关系就是这样建立起来的,关系的核心就是互利互惠。这可能是中国人的一种比较自私的行为。与此相反的是,美国人在帮助别人的时候心里就没有这种要求回报的想法。

 

 SELF-TEST自测题

  Answer the following questions with yes or no.

  1. Do you often invite your friends or people important for you to lunch or dinner?

  2. Do you often send gifts to the friends or people important to on the on special occasions such as New Years, Christmas, or other holidays, just to remind them that you are thinking of them?

  3. Seeking for relationship is different from giving bribery.

  4. You seldom forget what your friends did for you.

  5. Do not do to others unless you want others do to you.

  For the above questions, the more you tend to answer yes, the more devoted you are to relationship idea.
        风来疏竹,风过而竹不留声;
                   雁渡寒潭,雁去而潭不留影。
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13  发表于: 2004-04-03   
不管我用不用的上,我都对版主努力的成果表示由衷的感谢
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14  发表于: 2004-04-03   
15:FACE

 面子

 

 PROVERB谚语

  A person needs face like a tree needs bark.

  人要脸,树要皮。

  Everything of the Chinese is disguised under the mask of face.

  Lao She

  中国人的一切都在面子底下藏着呢。

  老舍

  For the Chinese negotiator, his face is his future.

  John So

  对于中国的谈判人员来说,面子就是他们的未来。

  赛欧

  His face lightens because of the given sunshine.

  给你点阳光,你就灿烂。

 

 INTERCULTURAL DIALOGUE跨文化对话

  Frank: Did Liu show you his report?

  Chang: Yes. It needs a lot of work.

  Frank: Did you tell him?

  Chang: I told him it was a good start.

  Frank: You shouldn’t have misled him.

  Chang: What do you mean?

  Frank:Liu给你看了他的报告了吗?

  Chang:看了。报告需要大量地修改。

  Frank:你告诉他了吗?

  Chang:我告诉他这是一个很好的开始。

  Frank:你不应该误导他。

  Chang:你这话是什么意思?

  STORY故事

  Story 1

  An American businesswoman is negotiating with a Chinese counterpart over import agreement. She does not realize that one of her objectives cannot be accepted by the Chinese. When this objective comes up for discussion, the Chinese negotiator says that the American’s request must receive further study. The American offers to further clarify the matter and asks about his objections. He mentions certain problems. After listening to her clarification, he responds,“Kaolii,kaolii”,which means“We’ll think this over again”or“We must give it thought.”Why? Because stating his position directly would be to deny her request. This would damage her face by contradicting his implicit claim to be a person who lives in harmony with others. And it would damage her face by contradicting her implicit claim to be a negotiator who makes requests that are well informed and reasonable. The American feels frustrated. If she later learns that the Chinese simply could not agree to her request, she will think,“If only he had said No and had explained to me why it was impossible, I would have tried to figure out another way of making this deal attractive to my company.”But her Chinese counterpart was concerned about his face and her face; he believed that avoiding loss of face was more important than making a deal in that round of negotiations.

  一个美国商业女性就一项进口业务正在与一位中国商人谈判。她并没有意识到她的一项提议不能为对方接受。当讨论这项提议的时候,中国商人说美方的提议需进行进一步研究。她就更加详细地阐述了她的提议。中方听完进一步的阐述后,说要考虑考虑。为什么这样反应呢?因为中国人认为直接表明自己的反对立场会损害对方的面子,毕竟对方做了那么多的努力。美国人感到大惑不解。结果谈判破裂。如果她后来知道中国人不能接受她的提议,相信她会想:“要是他直说他不同意并向我解释原因的话,我会考虑其他提议的,但是中方代表则关注保留双方的脸面;他觉得在谈判中避免丢脸比达成共识更为重要。

  Story 2

  A woman in China has a bad cold. An American acquaintance notices that she is uncomfortable and enthusiastically recommends his favorite remedy, long soaks in a tub of hot water. She thanks him, saying nothing about the fact that she has no tub and no access to anyone else’s tub. Time passes and the Chinese woman’s health improves. The American encounters her, notes that her cold is gone, and asks if she took his advice. She replies,“Oh, yes, it was wonderful.”Another American happens to be present on this occasion; he knows that the woman could not have taken the advice. The Chinese woman replies,“I didn’t want him to feel bad because I don’t have a tub.”Upon further questioning, she also admits that she had been reluctant to admit that she does not own a tub. So her little white lie saved her own face as well as that of the American tub enthusiast.

  一个中国妇女患了感冒。她的美国朋友注意到她不舒服,就热情地向她推荐他的冶疗方案:在浴盆里长时间地泡热水澡。她谢过了他,说想要试一试,而绝口不提她没有浴盆,从别人那里也借不到。一段时间后,这位中国妇女的健康大有好转。那位美国人再次见到她时,发现她的病好了,就问她是否遵从了他的建议。“噢,是的,效果很棒。”她回答道。另一位美国人恰巧也在场,他知道她很可能没有采纳建议,便问她为什么要这么说,这位中国妇女说:“如果我告诉他我没有浴盆,他会感到难堪的。”在继续追问下,她又承认她不愿意说自己没有浴盆,否则既会损及自己的面子,也会打击那位美国建议者的热情。

  Story 3

  An American teacher in China has filled out an official form of some kind and has submitted it to the authorities at his university. A Chinese clerk loses the form. Time goes by. The American, being efficiency-minded, soon becomes impatient. He asks the authorities who are dealing with the matter when action will be taken. He is told that the matter has been referred to a higher bureau for a decision, or perhaps that the matter is under review, or whatever. He is not told that the form has been lost. Why? Because losing a form is a type of incompetence, the exposure of which would cause the authorities to lose face by contradicting their implicit claim to be people who can properly handle forms. The American eventually suspects that the explanation being offered is not accurate. If he discovers that the form has actually been lost, he will feel angry because“After all, if I had only been told it was lost, I could have filled out another form and eliminated this interminable delay.”But the authorities were more concerned about preserving face than about the efficient processing of forms or directness in communications.

  一个在中国工作的美国教师填了一张表格,提出对某一问题的建议,并将它交给校领导。中国的职员丢了表格。很长时间后,那个讲效率的美国人等不及了,询问校方是否处理了他提出的问题,他被告知问题已反映到上级领导那里去了,可能正在解决。他并没被告知表格已经丢了,为什么?因为丢了表格是一种失职的表现,这事要是让外人知道了会让自居办事严谨的领导们脸上无光。那个美国人对这种推诿大惑不解。如果他知道表格实际上已经丢了的话,他肯定会大为光火,“表格丢了,你告诉我呀,我会重新填写一张的,犯不着跟我捉迷藏啊!”但是领导关心的并不是提高效率,而是怎样保住自己的脸面。

  Story 4

  Chinese educational tradition places no value on self-expression by students or trainees, the following more practical reasons are sometimes given by individual audience members for their disinclination to speak. Poor learners usually say they are afraid of losing face if they speak, since they might say something stupid. Outstanding learners usually say they fear being looked upon as show-offs by their classmates (also creating loss of face) if they speak too often or say things that are obviously brilliant. Average learners seem to have the least reluctance to speak; they say however, that there is no point in their speaking unless they have something really valuable to contribute. Few Chinese share the assumption of most American trainers and teachers that audience participation has intrinsic value. In the students’and trainees’view, run-of-the-mill discussions waste precious time that ought to be used by the teacher or trainer to deliver intellectual treasures to the audience.

  中国的教育传统不重视让学生表达自己的观点。当学生们被直接问及不愿表达自己观点的原因时,学习差的学生会表示他们不发言是因为他们唯恐说错了,丢自己的脸;学习好的学生则辩解说,如果他们发言积极正确,会被班里其他同学认为是炫耀,瞧不起别人;学习一般的学生认为如果没有什么值得说的东西,那么他们即使发言也没有任何意义,他们是最不愿意表达自己观点的群体。很少有中国人像美国人那样认为学生的参与会有启发性价值。多数学生认为冗长的讨论只会浪费宝贵的时间,不如让老师利用这段时间多传授一点知识。

  Story 5

  Several years ago, a resident who appeared to be a simple peasant walked /into/ a five-star hotel located in downtown Beijing, and enquired about accommodation. The receptionist informed the man that this particular hotel was not an appropriate place for him to stay. The receptionist’s condescending manner enraged the peasant, who felt an acute“loss of face”. He continually asked her about the cost of the room. The receptionist replied,“Why do you ask this question, as clearly you can not afford even a fraction of the nightly tariff”. This time the man lost his temper completely, because there were many people in the hotel lobby watching the spectacle. The man retorted,“I will stay in no place other than in the best room in this hotel”.“The best room costs US1200 a night”,the receptionist answered. The man sarcastically replied,“Only US1200. I would pay US2200 if necessary”. Finally this man of very humble appearance paid the appropriate tariff to stay in the hotels’VIP suite, though he needed a great deal of assistance in completing his registration form.

  几年前的一天,一位农民走进北京市中心的一家五星级饭店,向前台小姐询问住宿情况。前台小姐告诉他这家饭店价位太高,不适合他住宿。她的举止使这个农民感到大伤脸面,他接着问她房间的开价情况,小姐不耐烦地说:“你问这个问题干嘛,我看你连半晚上的住宿费都付不起。”这位农民这次再也忍不住了,因为当时大厅里有很多人,“今天我非住这里不可”他说。“最好的房间每晚1200美元,”前台小姐轻蔑地说。“才1200美元,我付2200美元”,最后这个人住进了饭店的贵宾间,需要提一下的是,他费了很大劲儿才填好住宿登记表。

  Story 6

  A Chinese hand told his experience of giving name card to Chinese.If you are introduced in Chinese, pass your card with its Chinese-language side facing up; if you are introduced to a person in English-presumably because the Chinese person you are meeting speaks English-then pass your card with its English-language side facing up. This ensures that you will not offend someone who prides himself on speaking and reading English. Take your acquaintance’s card with both hands and continue to hold it with two hands as you read it. Read all of it while showing that you are impressed with the job title of the person you have met. Your expression of impressed surprise is a compliment and a courteous gesture.

  一位“中国通”强调递名片给中国人时应该注意的问题。如果你被用汉语介绍,那么你递名片时应该让印有汉语的一面朝上;如果你被用英语介绍,那么对方肯定懂英语,你递名片时应该让印有英语的一面朝上。这样你就不会冒犯那些以会读、说英语为豪的中国人。接对方名片的时候要用双手。看的时候也要双手把持,看到对方的职位时做出惊讶的表情,这样能够向对方传达一种赞美之意,注意这个时候不要笑,即使是出于真诚也很可能被误解为嘲笑别人职位低。

 

 CONCLUSION结论

  In comparison with the Americans, Chinese are more sensitive about their face.

  和美国人相比,中国人非常重视他们的脸面。

 

 FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

Face is psychological and not physiological. It is not a face that can be washed or shaved, but a face that can be“granted”and“lost”and“fought for”and“presented as a gift.”—abstract and intangible, it is yet the most delicate standard by which Chinese social intercourse is regulated—Face cannot be translated or defined. It is like honor and is not honor. It cannot be purchased with money. It is hollow and yet is what men fight for and what many women die for. It is invisible and yet by definition exists by being shown to the public. Dispite of all of these, certain patterns could be found on the expression of facework in conversation. Following are two general patterns regarding the difference of converation style between Asian and Westerners.

  面子这个词并不具有生理上的含义,而是指一种心理的状态。面子不能洗,也不能刮;但却能“给”,能“丢”,能“挣”,能“当作礼物送人”。面子的概念虽然抽象、不可触摸,却是中国人社会交往中最精细的标准。面子难以翻译和界定,它就像一种荣誉但又不是荣誉。它不能用钱买到,面子是空的,但是许多男男女女为之奋斗甚至不惜牺牲生命。它看不见,摸不着,但确确实实地存在,并且能够向众人显示。尽管如此,日常交流中,我们仍可发现一些表达面子的模式。

  We would like to claim, nevertheless, that Asian conversations show a general pattern, a kind of macrostructure, which is quite different from the pattern one sees in a Western conversation. We have argued that Asian conversations show a pattern which can be described as a parabolic arch, beginning with incidental topics and minor points. The main topic is introduced somewhat later. Finally it’s quite customary after the introduction of the main topic to be followed again by final period of“small talk”

  亚洲人的谈话风格具有一个大致的、宏观的模式,这和西方人的交流方式迥然不同。亚洲人的谈话方式可以描述为一个拱形,开始的时候谈论一些比较随意的话题,然后再引入主题。最后,习惯性结束谈话的方式是在谈论一些琐碎的话题,相互给一些面子,便于下台阶。

  The Western pattern, by contrast, begins with an early introduction of the initiator’s main point. This is followed by a line of supporting developments or just small talk, but then there is often a conclusion with a reiteration of the main or concluding point (see fig. 2). We believe these differing patterns lie at the heart of a great deal of confusion in East-West discourse since each side expects different positions of main and subsidiary topics.

  西方人的交流方式与此恰恰相反,谈话开头就直奔主题,接下来就是一些辅助性的谈话或者谈论一些随意的话题,最后通常在谈话结束的时候,重复一下主题(见图2)。在东西方的交流中,这种交流模式的差异是各种困扰和误解存在的根本原因。

  For example, Americans tend to assume that everyone else in the world is equally committed to directness in interpersonal communications. This assumption is erroneous, especiallyswheresthe Chinese are concerned. The Chinese may very well on occasion be direct but only if no one, including themselves, will lose face.

  举例来说,美国人常常认为,在人际交流中,世界上的每个人都会直率地表达自己的观点。这种假设是错误的,尤其当交流对象是中国人时,这种假设更是大错特错。中国人有时也可能比较坦率,但是只有当所有人不会因此而丢脸的时候,他们才会这样做。
        风来疏竹,风过而竹不留声;
                   雁渡寒潭,雁去而潭不留影。
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15  发表于: 2004-04-03   
16:MONOCHROMIC AND POLYCHRONIC TIME

单一时间模式和多元时间模式

  PROVERB谚语

  Chinese Proverb

  Haste makes waste.

  欲速则不达。

  Time reveals all things.

  万事日久自明。

  American Proverb

  Remember that time is money.

  Benjamin Franklin

  记住:时间就是金钱。

  富兰克林

  I haven’t got time to be tired.

  我没有时间感到疲劳。

 

 INTERCULTURAL DIALOGUE跨文化对话

  Monochromic and Polychronic Cultures

  单一时间模式和多元时间模式

  Dialogue 1

  Mr. Paul Rosen is the international sales representative for his computer equipment company. His most recent trip takes him to China,swhereshe is scheduled to meet with his Chinese counterpart, Patrick Chang.

  Mr. Rosen and his training team arrived in Beijing three days ago for a scheduled appointment with Mr. Chang. However, Mr. Chang has not yet met with

  Mr. Rosen or his team. Finally, a call to Mr. Rosen’s hotel room indicates that Mr. Chang is prepared to meet with him. When Mr. Rosen arrives at the location, he is asked to wait outside Mr. Chang’s office. As he waits, he notices many people entering and leaving Mr. Chang’s office at a very quick pace. The hallways of this building are a hustle and bustle of activity, with people shuffling in and out of many rooms. Finally, after several hours, Mr. Rosen is called in to meet Mr. Chang.

  Mr. Paul Rosen是美国一家电脑公司的销售代表,他最近来到中国,按约定要和中国一家公司的销售代表Patrick Chang会面。

  Mr. Rosen和他的培训队伍已经在北京等了三天了,终于接到Mr. Chang的电话。Mr. Chang准备和他会面了。到了指定地点后,Mr. Rosen又在Mr. Chang办公室门楼等消息,他看见人们从Mr. Chang的办公室出出进进,走廊里人来人往,一幅忙碌的景象。大约过了几个小时之后,Mr. Rosen被叫了进去。

  Mr. Rosen: Ah, Mr. Chang, it’s so good to finally see you. Gosh, I’ve been waiting for days. Did you forget our appointment?

  Mr. Chang: Hello, Mr. Rosen. Please sit down. Everything is fine?

  Mr. Rosen: Actually no ... (Phone rings) ... the problem is ...

  Mr. Chang: Excuse me ... (Takes the phone call and speaks in Chinese. After several minutes he concludes the phone conversation) Yes, now ... everything is fine?

  Mr. Rosen: Well, actually, I’ve got a small problem. You see, the computer equipment you ordered...(A staff person enters the room and hands Mr. Chang something to sign.)

  Mr. Chang: Oh, excuse me... (signs the document) Yes, now, everything is fine?

  Mr. Rosen: As I was saying ... all of the computer equipment you ordered is just sitting on a ship at the dock. I need your help in getting it unloaded. I mean, it’s been there for two weeks!

  Mr. Chang: I see ... This is no problem.

  Mr. Rosen: Well, if it sits in the heat much longer, it could be damaged. Could I get you to sign a worksgroupsto have it unloaded by Friday?

  Mr. Chang: There is no need for that. The job will get done.

  Mr. Rosen: Well, could we set up some kind of deadline? You see, I have a staff of people here waiting to train your people on the equipment. I need to let them know when it will be ready. How about this Friday? Could we do it then? My people are here now, and they’re waiting to begin training.

  Mr.Chang: Dont worry. We have been living quite well without those equipment for years. If necessary, we could wait for several weeks. That’s not the problem.

  Mr. Rosen:噢,Mr. Chang,终于见到你了。天啊,我等了好几天了,你忘记咱们的约会了吗?

  Mr. Chang:你好,Mr. Rosen。请坐,一切进展顺利吗?

  Mr. Rosen:事实上,不大顺利…(电话铃响)…问题在于…

  Mr. Chang:抱歉…(拿起电话,说汉语,几分钟后挂上电话)噢…一切进展顺利吗?

  Mr. Rosen:呃,实际上,我遇到了一点困难,你订购的那批电脑设备…(一个职工走进来递给Mr. Chang一个文件让他签字)

  Mr. Chang:噢,抱歉…(签名)好的,一切顺利吗?

  Mr. Rosen:我是说…你订购的所有电脑设备都在船上等着卸货呢,已经等了两个星期了!

  Mr. Chang:我知道了…没事。

  Mr. Rosen:如果搁置时间过长,设备可能受到损坏,你能立即下指令在周五以前卸货吗?

  Mr. Chang:没必要那样,我们会完成这一工作的。

  Mr. Rosen:呃,你能给一个最后期限吗?我的职工还在等着训练你们的员工使用这些设备,我得让他们了解什么时候能准备好。这个星期五开始培训好不好?我的人都在这里了。

  Mr. Chang:没必要那么急。这么多年了,我们没使用那些设备,照样过来了。有必要的话,我们可以再等几个星期。这不成问题。

  There is little chance that Mr. Chang will sign any kind of worksgroupsfor Mr. Rosen. Mr. Rosen is also distressed by the constant interruptions. To Mr. Chang, Mr. Rosen is in too much of a hurry. Mr. Rosen is monochromic, whereas Mr. Chang operates from a polychronic time orientation.

  Mr. Rosen从Mr. Chang那儿了解不到任何工作的进程安排,他对不断有人打扰谈话也感到很反感。在Mr. Chang眼中,Mr. Rosen办事太急躁了。两个人使用的时间模式不同,Mr. Rosen具有单一时间导向,Mr. Chang具有多元时间导向。

  Dialogue 2Working Late(加班)

  Liu: We could finish this if we stayed late tonight.

  Frank: Has the deadline changed?

  Liu: I don’t think so, but we’re so close.

  Frank: Yes, it will be nice to start a new project.

  Liu: How late can you stay?

  Frank: Me? I’m leaving at quitting time.

  Liu:今天晚上如果我们走得晚一点,就能做完这个工作了。

  Frank:最后期限改了吗?

  Liu:没有,但也很近了。

  Frank:我们快开始新项目了,那会很好玩。

  Liu:今天晚上你留下来吗?

  Frank:我?我下班就走。

  Dialogue 3Weekend Workers(周末工作者)

  Wang: We got a bit behind on this. The deadline is wednesday.

  Bob: Yes. We’ll have to clear our calendar and work on it first thing next week.

  Wang: That’ll be cutting it a bit close, don’t you think?

  Bob: What other choice do we have?

  Wang: We could come in on Saturday.

  Wang:我们的进度慢了一点。星期三是最后期限了。

  Bob:对。下个星期我们必须马上做这项工作。

  Wang:你不觉得那样一来时间会很紧吗?

  Bob:那我们应该怎么办?

  Wang:我们可以星期六来加班。

 

 CONCLUSION结论

  Generally speaking, Chinese often follow polychronic time pattern, whreas Americans often follow molychronic time pattern.

  通常而言,中国人遵守多元时间模式;美国人遵守单一时间模式。

 

 FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

  People who follow M-time pattern usually engage in one activity at a time, compartmentalize time schedules to serve self-needs, and tend to separate task-oriented time from social time. People who follow P-time tend to do multiple tasks at the same time, tend to hold more fluid attitudes toward time schedules, and tend to integrate task needs with social needs. A person using a P-time orientation, for example, will stop a conversation with one person to take a phone call from another, especially a friend or relative. People who follow M-time schedules tend to emphasize individual privacy, schedules, and appointments. People who follow P-time schedules, in contrast, tend to emphasize the connection between people, fluidity, and the flexible nature of time.

  遵守单一时间模式的人通常喜欢一段时间做一件事,按照自己的需要,他们把时间分为各个日程,工作时间和社交时间泾渭分明、各不相扰。遵守多元时间模式的人通常喜欢同一段时间里做几件事情,他们对时间的安排比较随意,工作时间和社交时间也没有严格的区分。多元时间导向的人可能打断正在进行的谈话,去接另一个人尤其是亲戚朋友的电话。单一时间导向的人重视个人的隐私、日程安排和约会。多元时间导向的人则重视人际关系,重视时间安排的随意性和灵活性。

  The Chinese make little distinction between private and public life. They often work many hours beyond work time, especially if they believe that it is necessary. For some businesspeople, schedules in their non-business hours are much more hectic than during business hours. People in the Chinese commercial community even presume that a person’s business will decline if they have nothing to do, or no one to deal with, after working hours. This can be seen in the following illustration.

  中国人的私人生活与公共生活区别不大,如果需要,他们常常加班加点,一些商人的业余时间比他们的上班时间还忙。如果下班时间中国商人无事可做,那么他们会认为有损生意,下面这个例子表现这一点。

  In 1994, a Chinese businesswoman tried to introduce a foreign company to a Chinese counterpart with a view to working together on a China-based project. She accompanied the managing director of the foreign company to Beijing for further business discussions after extensive long-distance negotiations. Like other Chinese businesspeople, the general manager of the Chinese company treated the foreign guest generously during his trip to China. However, the foreign managing director found that the Chinese general manager talked almost continuously on his mobile phone when he picked them up from the airport, at the hotel and during dinner in the evening. The foreign managing director asked the Chinese businesswoman,“Why couldn’t the Chinese general manager finish his work within work hours?”and then commenter that“the Chinese manager must not be an efficient manager”. Although the reason for the behavior was explained at length, the foreign director was still confused. And made it very clear that be did not appreciate this Chinese manager’s behaviour. Ironically, while the Chinese manager was undoubtedly busy, his behaviour may have been partly intended to impress on his Western counterpart how important, essential, hardworking, diligent and above all efficient he really was. Clearly, there exists a marked difference between the two manager’s perspectives of what constitutes efficiency.

  1994年,一个中国女商人,想撮合一家外国公司和一家中国公司共同开发一个项目,紧张的讨论之后,她陪同双方经理共赴北京进一步商谈有关事宜,中方经理非常好客。但是外方经理很快就发现这位中国经理不停地打手机。在机场、宾馆、甚至饭桌上都忙得不亦乐乎。他问中国的女商人:“中方的那位经理为什么不在上班时间完成工作?”接着推断说中国经理办事肯定没有效率。虽然这一问题最终得以解释,但是外方经理仍然困惑不解,他无论如何也不欣赏中方经理的工作方式。具有讽刺意味的是,中方经理实际上是想给外方经理留下勤奋、兢兢业业的形象,没想到适得其反,反而遭到误解。

  According to Chinese business culture, if something cannot be discussed with and official or bureaucrat in the workplace or at a formal meeting, and an opportunity arises to talk to then in their home or during an informal occasion, then the above Chinese manager must seize the moment. According to the Chinese, this is truly an efficient use of their valuable time.

  按照中国的商业惯例来讲,如果在正式场合或上班时间事情没有讨论完或工作没有做完,可以在家里或者是非正式场合接着讨论这些事情。上面例子里的这个经理就利用了这些时间。中国人认为,这是合理而有效率地利用时间。

  Difference Between Monochronic People & Polychronic People

  遵循一元时间模式和多元时间模式的人们的不同之处

  Mono: Do one thing at a time concentrate on the job.

  Poly: Do many things at once are highly distractible and subject to interruptions.

  Mono: Take time commitments (deadlines, schedules) seriously.

  Poly: Consider time commitments an objective to be achieved, if possible.

  Mono: Are low-context and need information.

  Poly: Are high-context and already have information.

  Mono: Are committed to the job.

  Poly: Are committed to people and human relationships.

  Mono: Adhere religiously to plans.

  Poly: Change plans often and easily.

  Mono: Are concerned about not disturbing others; follow rules of privacy.

  Poly: Are more concerned with those who are closely related. (family, friends, close business associates than with privacy)

  Mono: Show great respect for private property; seldom borrow or lend.

  Poly: Borrow and lend things often and easily.

  Mono: Emphasize promptness.

  Poly: Base promptness on the relationship.

  Mono: Are accustomed to short-term relationships.

  Poly: Have strong tendency to build lifetime relationships.

  一元:一段时间集中精力做一件事。

  多元:一段时间做好几件事,可能终止一件事去做另一件。

  一元:非常重视时间安排和期限。

  多元:将时间安排和期限当成一种努力的目标。

  一元:低情境交流需要大量的信息。

  多元:高情境交流已经掌握信息。

  一元:忠于工作。

  多元:忠于人和人际关系。

  一元:严肃地按计划办事。

  多元:经常随意地改变计划。

  一元:注意不去打扰别人;重视隐私观念。

  多元:重视自己圈子里的人(家人、朋友、商业伙伴);不太重视隐私。

  一元:尊重个人财产;很少借还物品。

  多元:经常借还物品。

  一元:重视办事效率。

  多元:效率建立在关系的基础上。

  一元:习惯于短期合作关系。

  多元:强调建立长期合作关系。

 

 SELF-TEST自测题

  Assessing Time Orientation

  The following scale is designed to measure one’s monochromic and/or polychronic time orientation. In the blank before each item, indicate the degree to which you (1)strongly agree, (2)agree, (3)are neutral, (4)disagree, or (5)disagree with the statement. There are no right or wrong answers, and many of the statements are similar by design. Work quickly and record your first impression.

  1. I usually feel frustrated after I choose to do a number of tasks when I could have chosen to do one at a time.

  2. When I talk with my friends in asgroupssetting, I feel comfortable trying to hold two or three conversations at a time.

  3. When I work on a project around the house, it doesn’t bother me to stop in the middle of one job to pick up another job that needs to be done.

  4. I like to finish one task before going on to another task.

  5. At church it wouldn’t bother me to meet at the same time with several different people who all had different church matters to discuss.

  6. I tend to concentrate on one job before moving on to another task.

  7. The easiest way for me to function is to organize my daily activities with a schedule.

  8. If I were a teacher and had several students wishing to talk with me about assigned homework, I would meet with the wholesgroupsrather than with one student at a time.

  9. I like doing several tasks at one time.

  10. I am frustrated when I have to start on a task without first finishing a previous one.

  11. In trying to solve problems, I find it stimulating to think about several different problems at the same time.

  12. I am mildly irritated when someone in a meeting wants to bring up a personal topic that is unrelated to the purpose of the meeting.

  13. In school, I prefer studying one subject to completion before going on to the next subject.

  14. Im hesitant to focus my attention on only one thing because I may miss something equally important.

  15. I usually need to pay attention on only one task at a time to finish it.

  Scoring: For items 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, reverse your response (5=1), (4=2), (3=3),(2=4), (5=1), for example, if you response to item#2 was 5, reverse it to 1. If you response to item # 3 was 4, reverse it to a 2. Once you have reversed your responses to those 6 items, sum the entire 15 items. Scores of approximately 30 and below indicate a monochromic orientation. Scores of approximately 42 and above indicate a polychrinic orientation.
(从网上转载而来,就这些了。)
        风来疏竹,风过而竹不留声;
                   雁渡寒潭,雁去而潭不留影。
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